Simon Cowell Wants To Save Britney

Simon Cowell of American Idol has said, "We have decided we can bring Britney back! We are serious. We plan to buy her underpants, get her bigger shorts to perform in and get her away from her stupid friends."

"MTV ratings are up and all we're hearing is Britney, Britney, Britney!" Simon said. "She can turn it around."

That's exactly what she needs too! Some underwear and boot camp with Simon!